Many single women in their early 30s to late 40s are so sick and tired of men their age dating younger girls.
How many women can relate to being dumped by some dude who said he wasn’t ready to commit, only to find out he proposed to someone else–who, of course, is younger? This situation happens so often that endless movies detail older women being pushed aside for the young hottie.
Most women are sick of this shit and fed up with guys who keep getting older and grayer but never stop dating girls older than 25 (ahem, Mr. DiCaprio).
Why Older Men Prefer Younger Girls Instead of Women Their Own Age
You’d think that a grown man who’s 45 years old would want to have a long-term, committed relationship with a woman who’s at least somewhat close to his age. Wouldn’t they want someone who has similar interests and life experience? You’d think they want someone mature with the same mindset and an equivalent level of intellect.
That’s what you’d think, right? But most of the time, they don’t seem interested in women like that. In fact, age-gap relationships seem to work for men, so they’re not interested in changing anything about who they decide to commit to.
However, research shows that, at every age, women prefer guys who are closer to their age, but for men, the perfect age for women remains steady at just 22 years old. What’s the reason for this difference? Studies show there is no agreed-upon reason for this.
Some dating experts believe that men’s preference for a younger woman is a worked-out strategy due to evolution. Men are attracted to “partners who are considered highly fertile.” Because women tend to live longer than men and eventually become their caregivers, the attraction to those younger could be because marrying a younger woman will expand a man’s lifespan, while it does the opposite for his spouse.
Others believe that the issue is due more to a power imbalance. The difference in desired age for their partner is because of society’s predetermined gender roles. In today’s society, the male is often still considered “the breadwinner,” and the female is “the homemaker.” Women continue to search for a man whose economic resources deem him an excellent provider. In contrast, men search for women ready for reproduction, making them good housewives. (Hello, 1942!)
Are Women Interested in Younger Men?
Unfortunately, over time, the trends in attractiveness decrease for females. While men typically find attractiveness to be highest in a women’s 20s, to them, it steadily decreases as she ages.
However, a man’s attractiveness to women is the opposite. To women, as men age and reach their peak at 50, they get hotter and more distinguished. It’s only after the age of 50 that men’s attractiveness decreases.
Women in their 20s tend to find a slightly older man attractive, and when they reach their 30s, women prefer a guy who is a few years younger.
Things That Happen When You Begin Dating an Older Guy
May-December romances are all over Hollywood right now, but what do these types of relationships look like when you’re not a celebrity? In case you fell asleep around a rock for the last five years, huge age gaps are now seeing a significant cultural moment. Some examples include Scott Disick/Sofia Richie, Drake’s habit of hanging with the teens, and Leonardo and his last twenty girlfriends.
Many people question the relationship. While older men dating younger women is “normal,” women who go for the younger guy are seen as desperate and unable to catch a guy her age. After all, they figure younger guys (depending on the exact age) have no business dating older women because they don’t even know what they want out of life yet.
Statements like that can be annoying, but it’s not anything that people haven’t said before. People have always held men to a lower maturity standard because they live by the “girls mature faster than boys” rule.
Of course, this stereotype is problematic on multiple levels because it reinforces archaic thinking and refuses to hold men accountable for their behavior. So what happens when a younger woman begins seriously dating an older guy? Let’s find out.
1. There’s Less Texting
When dating younger guys, texting will be a priority in that relationship. The measuring stick for your relationship status is how often you text each other. For example, when you have a decreased frequency with your texts, a perceived tone change, or use fewer emojis, you’re justified if you panicked.
Older guys don’t need to text except for necessary contact and not the “U up?” early a.m. messages. You’ll text back and forth a few times during the week to make plans or to chat about something specific, but your relationship isn’t defined by a fixed schedule starting with the obligatory “good morning” and “goodnight” texts.
Getting out of this texting habit can be difficult, especially if that’s how you defined your relationship. However, once you step out of the text world and into the “real world,” you’ll see what you are missing.
As it turns out, your life and relationship status is much less stressful when you aren’t obsessively waiting for a text and then constantly trying to read each other’s minds with hidden subtext that he’s no longer interested. If that sounds exhausting, that’s because it is, and you’ll be glad those days are over.
2. You Use Him for Your Networking Purposes
Most times, of course, you’re attracted to his rugged good looks, but honestly, there’s more to it than that. When you find out more about him, either through a dating app profile or via conversation, you may become more attracted to him because of his high-profile career choice. Younger women strike gold if he’s hot, but you strike platinum when he’s got an excellent job, especially for unpaid interns trying to make a name for themselves. As it turns out, ladies, Tinder can quickly turn into the new LinkedIn.
On a first date, you’ll ask him all about him, pretending you didn’t stalk him. Then comes the “joking.” “Oh, I didn’t know you worked there. You should get me a job. (kidding, not kidding)
You’ll likely continue to ask him questions about his job when you really want to pull out a copy of your resume and have him check it out. Even if he can’t get you a position, perhaps he can make a few suggestions on your resume to help bulk it up. He has more knowledge and experience, so it only makes sense that you would want to take advantage of that.
3. You Go On Much Better Dates
You get to go on dates, period. It may be because Generation X/Millenials reached the legal age before Netflix and Chill and Tinder, but dating older men was an upgrade in that the dating part was actually involved. He took you out and wined and dined you, and you got to know each other the old-fashioned way.
By old-fashioned, we mean holding doors open at restaurants and holding your hand as you stumble out of bars. When you date more mature men, it feels more like Sex and the City and less like a college bar crawl. BTW: Women don’t need guys to open and close doors for them, but sometimes, it sure is nice!
Plus, you didn’t have any of the irritating sucky dating habits that modern technology has thrust upon the younger generation. Guys didn’t suggest “hanging out” to see where it goes but never texting to set up a proper date.
Women didn’t have to deal with the inevitable “U up?” text at 1:00 a.m. You didn’t have to deal with him fumbling back and forth on where to go. He made a date and stuck to it.
4. His Place Is Clean
If you stood an older guy and a younger guy next to each other and asked who probably had the cleaner house, most would say the older man. When you’re a straight woman dating a straight guy in their twenties, you’re likely going to have to be the cleaner in the relationship. This is not true in all cases but certainly is in a few.
This situation has both pros and cons. Yes, you have to hang out with some guy in his dirty apartment, but you have the satisfaction of knowing you’re the one that has their shit together while putting in minimal effort to keep up that image.
However, the tides turn if you’re in your late teens/early twenties dating a grown man with an apartment. You probably spent most of the summer at his place, lounging at a nice, clean apartment that you occasionally littered with your earrings and bras. Meanwhile, compared to his spot, you’re the one who’s living in a pig pen.
5. Around Him, You’re the Child
Although you may be looking for a long-term commitment, often, both people realize that your fling is just that–a fling. The romance comes with an expiration date, but that probably won’t stop you from trying to keep it going when D-day comes.
Often, younger women fall in love much faster and find themselves ready to commit long-term. They also say “I love you” first and take it harder when the relationship inevitably ends.
While you may have tried to prepare yourself for rejection, you can find yourself quite upset when he goes as far as to explain why you won’t work out. Because they’re blatantly honest, he’ll have no trouble saying he doesn’t love you–and man, that stings!
They often give the “You’re young and will find someone else,” speech and may even drop the line “You won’t even remember me in another month.” He’s not trying to talk down to you, but he is making it feel like a parent talking to a child.
6. It’s Normal
One thing about older guys is that they’re pleasingly normal. You’ll likely click almost immediately because they don’t bring the drama. Older guys aren’t into dating a bunch of women, and even if they were, you probably wouldn’t have to deal with anyone keying your car or stalking you on social media.
Conversations are relatively tame. You think you wouldn’t have much in common to talk about, but in many cases, talking flows effortlessly. The best part is you learn new things about each other.
For example, he may have a whole new style of music you never thought you’d be interested in, and vice versa. You have “mature” dates at a jazz club instead of crowded bars or music festivals. Everything is normal, and you love it.
Every so often, you may have that one friend or family member that asks you if it’s weird dating someone older. You understand why they’re asking because you thought the same thing before dating older. But truthfully, you have a good time and even wonder why you didn’t do it sooner,
One Guy’s Forthcoming Explanation of Why Older Men Prefer Dating Younger Women Instead of Mature Women.
When a real-life example of a man who does this was asked, here’s what we found out.
George (for the sake of privacy, his name has been changed) is a 45-year-old, extremely successful divorcee who has been dating 22-year-olds since he was 35.
George is a perfect candidate for this conversation because he tells it like it is and says what he thinks regardless of social values and emotions. Be fully warned: his comments are often rude and offensive, and we, in no shape, or form, cosign any of his statements.
If you aren’t prepared to look through his harsh words to understand the underlying reasons for his statements, you may want to stop reading.
“When a woman reaches her late 20s, she has anxiety-ridden issues. By the time she hits 30, she is jaded and bitter. Women in their late 20s seem to have a ticking time bomb inside of them. Every day that takes them closer to 30, the age where everything goes downhill, they’re likely to blow up at any moment because they know that 30 is when they’ll end up spending the rest of their lives with a million cats, walking around in crocs.
All their friends are getting married, and society tells them that at their age, they should either have or be setting themselves up for having a good relationship that sets the foundation for the rest of their life. At this stage, if they’re single, they’re probably desperately thinking, ‘Are you the one?’ to every man they encounter. They want to know if you’re the type to commit and if you’ll marry them on the first or second date.
Thirty-year-olds have a whole new set of issues. Not only are they in a rush to be married, they now have a sense of bitterness. It’s as if they spent so much time trying to catch a guy and have been chewed up and spit out by the dating game. They pretend they’re optimistic, but that’s just bullshit. They’re harboring a hidden hatred toward men. Most women in their 30s think guys suck because they won’t commit, and all the good ones are taken.
Each time they meet a guy, they’re likely thinking, ‘You’re going to hurt me, aren’t you?’ and ‘I bet you’re another loser!’ They’re sick and tired of repeatedly dating the same type of guy, so they want to find any dude who will help them get this marriage and dating crap over with.
Also, when some women find a decent catch, they act like they’re on birth control and then “accidentally” get pregnant to trap a guy. No, thank you!
The younger ones are all googly-eyed and are very easy to impress, especially on a first date. This is likely the first time they’ve been treated to this kind of lifestyle, so they’re free-spirited and fun.
You don’t have to worry about talking business on a date because how accomplished can you be in your early 20s? They don’t pressure men to settle down and have kids. This is why most guys prefer online dating apps that cater to younger women looking for older guys.”
So what’s your takeaway from this guy who prefers to date younger women?
What We Think About His Analysis
Honestly, it’s all about your attitude. This guy is generalizing all women in each age category, and while his experiences may be valid, they’re just that–his experiences. They say you attract that which you are, so if he’s encountering “bitter” 30-year-olds, that reflects him and his personality and has nothing to do with you.
He complained about women’s mindsets and attitudes and how they make him feel. Not once did he mention the issue of looks and body type, which is BSl because if he can generalize about women, so can we about men–and that’s most men are interested in younger women because of their younger bodies for reasons previously mentioned (fertility.)
Unfortunately, if you encounter this guy, he already has his mindset regarding the disposition of older women. So unfortunately, with him, you’re wasting your time–even if you get that far because he’s not interested in anyone over 22 years old. So, ladies, having the right attitude is the key to finding someone of quality.
Essential Questions to Ask Yourself about Your Own Attitude toward Guys and Relationships
- Do you appreciate men for all their differences?
- Do you resent guys for the hurt they caused you in the past?
- How do you view yourself?
- Are you cynical or afraid about marriage or relationships in general?
- Do you even want to get married? Why?
- Are you having a good time dating?
- Why are you interested in this particular guy?
- Do you feel good mentally, physically, and emotionally with and without a guy?
Guys considered high-value have plenty going for them, so they’re looking for a woman who’s the same. They’re searching for someone who will add to their lives and make it better, who is optimistic, and who has wonderful things happening now and in their future.
Your energy, demeanor, and attitude can help lift or weigh a man down. He doesn’t want to marry you unless he feels like you will make his life better by doing it.
If you’re older and single or never married, society wants you to believe marriage won’t happen for you. That’s not the case.
Many people get married later in life, and it has nothing to do with age; it’s about being confident, possessing the right attitude, and knowing who you are. When you’re ready, here are a few online dating app reviews to get you started. Good luck, ladies.