Dating can often be referred to as an Olympic sport, and it especially feels like one during the winter. Everyone is in a rush to cross the finish line with a trophy in their hand and a partner in their arms. And we get it; we feel that way too.
The winter season feels like the right time to start curling up with your significant other and hunkering down for the long haul. We’re also in the middle of cuffing season, for all who celebrate it. Anyone who has yet to find a long-term partner this year is more than likely looking around for one.
Most people try to find their person before the holidays are in full force and even after they’re over. We want to cuddle up all winter long with our new (or old) love and settle into a new relationship and all the joy it can bring.
Don’t worry; the 2022 dating lexicon has a word for these people, and it’s one that I’m a big fan of.
Instead of Netflix and chill or getting swept up in the throes of cuffing season and all it involves, we’re introducing a no-pressure, much less toxic winter dating trend — ‘snow storming.’ Snow storming is a new term that many adopt when they leave their bad or unhealthy relationships during the most wonderful time of the year.
What Is a Snow Stormer?
The term ‘snow storming’ is relatively new, and not many have heard of it yet. Still, it’s one of the more important new dating terms introduced this year, so we want to highlight it.
Wingman founder, Tina Wilson, says, “A snow stormer won’t just let go of old flames and declutter their life of past toxic relationships, they actively ‘let go’ of their current relationship too.” She continues, “In the midst of cuffing season, this spells it out loud and clear that they have woken up to the realization that they are not happy or in love with their current partner. In addition, there is no desire to get back with an ex and they will rather not risk having a serious relationship over the winter and Christmas season until they find the right partner to settle down with.”
Amid a world that seems to encourage people to pick anyone and every one to date during the holidays, snow storming is a refreshing take on a somewhat toxic and codependent-based mentality.
As people reflect on their past year and their highs and lows, they also start to look to the next year and see what they can change and improve. A lot of the time that means taking a hard look and assessing if their relationships are worth carrying into the next year and if they’re benefiting both people. If someone feels unhappy or dissatisfied in their current relationship, snow storming is usually the trend they adopt.
If you’re wondering why it’s called snow storming, Wilson says, “Snow storming encourages people in relationships to make a drastic change, which per its name, is a turbulent reaction to the actions of the person wanting change and is characterized by upheaval and disorder.”
We don’t necessarily agree that snow storming is disruptive. We definitely disagree that anyone should ever have to stay in a relationship, even during the holidays. However, we do agree with this trend. Yes, it might not be the best time of the year to break up with your significant other, and yes, it might lead to a lonely Valentine’s Day or winter season; you should never stay in a relationship for a moment past when you begin to lose the love.
If you’re staying in a relationship out of courtesy or to spare someone’s emotions, get out of it. You’re doing a disservice to yourself and your partner by staying in a relationship after you’ve lost feelings for them.
Why Can Snow Storming Be Good?
While this might not be the most popular opinion, considering the tumultuous tone of the phrase ‘snow storming,’ we don’t think it’s terrible to leave your partner (within reason) during the season.
Especially during the season when so many advice columns are telling you to find someone and settle down with them, we think it’s essential to add a bit of balance to the season and a healthy dose of reality. It can be challenging when you’re walking around during this time of the year and seeing so many ads, shows, movies, and people in general who are encouraging you to stay in a relationship when really, you’re the only one who can decide if your relationship is one worth remaining in.
Most of the time, people will hold onto a relationship well past its expiration date, especially during the winter season, or some would also call it the dry season.
While we want to encourage this trend as much as possible, we also want to say that it’s not easy to leave a comfortable and even long-term relationship, especially during a season where staying put and staying together are the norm.
But it’s worth it. Wilson encourages those who are thinking about becoming the snow stormer. She says, “By coming out of the other side, the snow stormer will hopefully feel empowered and have the freedom to date other people once they feel ready.”
As you’re entering the new year and thinking about the things you want to cast off and change about your life and who is in it. Understand that if you say goodbye to one relationship, you’re not necessarily saying goodbye to having a chance at another. On the contrary, you’re really allowing yourself to open up and possibly meet someone who will be better for you as soon as you’re ready.
We don’t want to keep dead weight going into the new year, and you don’t want to either. Reflect on your current situation and consider whether your relationship is giving you all the things it should, and vice versa, if you’re also still invested and giving your relationship your effort and love.
If it’s time to move on, it’s time to move on, and it’s better to say something than to sit in a relationship that neither of you wants to stay in for the long haul.
Why Snow Storming Might Be Damaging
One warning we have against the snow storming trend is that it can be very easy to hop on the bandwagon about relationship complaints. If you’ve ever been out with your friends and one person starts to complain about their significant other, you can join in with little to no encouragement, and it quickly becomes a spiral of negative thoughts about your significant other.
If you’re reading this and in a great and healthy relationship, don’t let us discourage you from staying in it. I’m staying steady and happy in my relationship throughout the season, and I’m thrilled about that. Snow storming applies to a specific demographic of people — those who are unhappy, discontent, and in a relationship that needs to end. While it might be more of a hassle and less popular, this is an excellent time of the year to shed your old relationships and look to the new opportunities that come from having that freedom.
Wilson warns people debating dropping their relationships during the season to not just dump someone this season just because they’ve been hurt in the past. Having issues stemming from past trauma is valid, but ditching your current partner who hasn’t done anything wrong isn’t the solution. Instead, please seek professional help and have open and honest conversations about your feelings and how they’re affecting your relationship.
Wilson says, “Snow stormers blast everything away to stop possible hurt in their future.” Snow stormers are the people who want a clean break and to enter into their new season of life completely untethered, no matter how the debris from the wreckage of their relationship might make people feel.
Wilson continues, “It can be very cathartic if it’s done for the right reasons and gives you a clean slate to begin your romantic journey afresh; however, it couldn’t come at a worse time for the dater on the receiving end as they will literally be left out in the cold and completely blindsided by their partner’s decision.”
While this statement shouldn’t pressure you to stay in a relationship, you should really think through your decision if you feel like leaving your current partner is the best option for one or both of you.
Why You Should Try Snow Storming Now
If you’re reading this and think you and your relationship would benefit from ending, it’s time. Warner says that when you decide to break up with someone, that’s not a decision you should sit on for a while because it becomes more damaging for the people involved in the long run.
She says, “It is easy to put off having the breakup conversation as you might not want to hurt their feelings. But this delay will ultimately keep them in a relationship that isn’t going to last, and instead of wasting time on you, they could be with someone who does want to be with them. So the best way is to act decisively and fast for both of your benefits.”
As much as it will benefit you to end a relationship that isn’t great for you, it will also help your partner, who more than likely has or will catch on to how you’re feeling.
They don’t want to be stuck in a lackluster relationship either.
Warner does say to prioritize having good conversations about how you’re feeling and being open and honest about your thoughts and needs. The worst thing you can do, especially during this season, is to leave someone high and dry without any explanation or a chance for closure.
Also, if it is a toxic, unhealthy, or even abusive relationship, you need to tell a person (with the support of a professional or your friends so you can stay safe) for them to grow and not repeat their mistakes with the next person.
Wilson says, “Always have an honest conversation with them, but don’t overstay your welcome or make excuses. It is also important to stick to your decision as you don’t want to give them false hope the relationship will be rekindled if you know there is no hope of going back… A successful snow stormer will make a clean break for it, and after the storm has passed, they will move onto happier and brighter times.”
While it might seem cold (pardon the pun), it’s important that the snow stormer is respectful of their partner’s time and effort but also clearly done with the relationship. It’s something entirely different to come to your significant and discuss what’s wrong or unsatisfying in your relationship, but trying to fix it or change something compared to what a snow stormer does.
A snow stormer will plow through the people who aren’t serving them and let them know they’re done with the relationship.
To Snow Storm or Not to Snow Storm
If you’re uncertain after reading this article if you should try the snow storming trend or not, we suggest you start to take stock of your relationship, assess the pros and cons, and even have that open and honest conversation about starting to fix things before you jump the gun and leave your significant other for the season.
But if you’re reading this article and it gave you the push and the motivation you’ve been looking for to finally leave a relationship (or a situationship), it’s better to get that out of the way than to stay unhappily in a relationship that’s putting a toll on your mental health. You shouldn’t enter the new season and the new year towing a relationship behind you that has long since stopped serving you. Honestly, don’t feel guilty about leaving someone who doesn’t make you feel loved or even someone who you don’t feel like is the one.
The main reason someone should think about snow storming and leaving their partner, in general, is that they are starting to put themselves first, which is a valuable lesson everyone should learn when assessing their relationship. In the end, no amount of pressure surrounding the holiday or cuffing season should keep you in a relationship you’re not feeling great about.
That being said, you should have everything in your tool belt to equip you for any snow-storm-like feelings that might come up this holiday season, and it will help you know whether or not to pull the trigger.