10 Clues That She Wants You to Make the First Move

Woman with man, wanting him to make the first move.

You’ve been flirting for weeks, and you think she will make the first move any day now. But she doesn’t. So, you start wondering, “Should I make a move? Then, you think, “Is she even into me like that?”

You go back and forth, going through every possible scenario and its outcome. You come up with everything from living happily ever after and having four kids to you misinterpreting her signals and shaming you into becoming a hermit.

She laughs at your jokes and gently touches your arm when she tells a story. Then there are times when you feel as if she is brushing you off. But, unfortunately, for every potential green light, you need clarification on something else she does that makes you pump the breaks. 

Reading a woman’s body language is a guessing game, so figuring out the signs she wants you to swoop in can be tricky. But it doesn’t have to be that hard.

Of course, listening to signs when a woman isn’t receptive to your advances is just as important. But, even when she’s interested, consent is everything. The only way to know if she’s giving you a, Yes, I’m interested, or No, get the f–k away from me! vibe is to ask her.

But we get it. You still might be hesitant. If that’s the case, give it a minute. But in the meantime, check out the following clues that let you know whether or not the time is right to approach her.

1). She Flirts​

A flirtatious encounter can happen so quickly that you don’t even see it. So while it’s easy to miss, pay close attention to some cues, like playing with or twirling her hair. 

Is she constantly putting it up or taking it out of her ponytail and shaking it out? These are flirtatious advances you may recognize as an indication that she wants you to make the first move.

2). Constant Eye Contact​

There are five of you in the group, but whenever she says something, she’s looking at you. Even several glances are indicators that she’s interested. 

When you look at her, does she meet and hold your gaze? Maintaining eye contact is one of the definite signs she’s waiting on you to make the first move.

8 Tips on How to Flirt with Your Crush​

Having a crush can be exciting, but guess what? It can also be intimidating. Of course, it’s thrilling to go from making the initial connection to a place where the fireworks are poppin’. But you may need to flirt a bit to get to that exhilarating point. 

Unfortunately, flirting is something that doesn’t come naturally to everyone. So, here are a few tips on how to get your crush’s attention.

  • Be Yourself – You don’t want your crush to like someone she thinks you are because, eventually, she will find out. It might hurt if she doesn’t reciprocate your feelings, but you’ll be fine. It’s better to know if she truly likes you for you at the beginning rather than months later. In that case, a brush-off would hurt even more.
  • Try Subtle Body Language– Use small gestures to get them to notice you. For instance, gently brush your hand against theirs when walking or talking. Or, lightly tap them on their arm when they tell a joke and make you laugh. Likewise, try touching their arm during a conversation. These are all methods to show someone you’re crushing.
  • Open Up about Yourself – Of course, you want to know things about your crush, but remember to include your interests in the conversation. Doing so creates a much more exciting and natural rapport with one another. Never let them do all the talking, and don’t be afraid to share your stories. Sharing about yourself, family and friends helps to form a genuine connection and even encourages them to open up more.
  • Smile and Say “Hello” When You See Your Crush It’s the small interactions that can make all the differences. If you pass them in the hallway or at work, smile and wave or say “hi.” You don’t need to have a huge conversation (unless you want to), but acknowledge that you noticed them.
  • Ask In-Depth Questions – Asking questions shows your crush–or anyone–that you’re interested. Curiosity is also an essential part of being flirty. Inquiring about their likes and dislikes helps to get to know them better, which makes future discussions flow more naturally. In addition, showing genuine interest in someone else makes that person feel good and enjoy being around you. For example, if they’re wearing a T-shirt with a logo, asking them about it is a great conversation starter. It also helps to figure out where your likes and interests overlap.
  • Be Honest but Not Overwhelming – Please don’t walk up to your crush and ask them point blank if they like you. That may have worked in grade school with the Do you like me- yes or no note. However, you’re an adult now, so be more tactful.
    Instead, drop some hints you’re into them. Tell them how much fun you had with them at a party or that you like how they laugh. Then, if you sense there’s a mutual attraction, go for it. For example, ask if they’re interested in getting together for coffee.
    If you’re still figuring things out, make it casual and invite the entire friend group, but pinpoint your crush and tell them you’d love it if they’d come along.
  • Make Them Laugh – It doesn’t matter if you’re not a ten in the looks department because humor is equally important and is a fun way to flirt by setting up a playful situation with your crush.
    Most people enjoy being around someone who makes them laugh because it gives a feeling of closeness. According to studies, shared laughter may increase your connection with someone. So, go ahead and tell a joke or two. They’ll appreciate it.

3). She Engages with Your Social Media Posts​

If you have social media, you have probably connected with her as friends. So, if she engages with your posts (This includes “likes,” too), she’s sending you a clear sign that she’s open to you making the first move. 

If you’re hesitant, connect with her by commenting or liking her comment on your comment. We know it sounds confusing, but, trust us, it works. If she continues the social media back and forth, she’s definitely interested, and at some point very soon, you’ll want to make the first move. 

4). She Texts First​

Bruh, c’mon, it doesn’t get much more overt than this. While many ladies co-sign the “men should always text first” rule, that’s not always the case. 

If she texts you first, there’s no denying she’s into you, and there’s a 99.99% chance she wants you to make the first move. There is always that slight chance she just wants the chemistry notes, so use your judgment.

But if you’re getting good vibes, suggest a romantic date location to help build chemistry between you two. However, if you still need to figure out her intent (ex, she sent a text asking for the chemistry notes BUT put a smiling emoji at the end), ask her on a more casual hang-out type of date for coffee or a walk.

5). She Smiles at You​

Smiling can mean many things, but if you are constantly catching each others’ gaze and each time she smiles at you, it’s an excellent sign she’s waiting on you to make the first move. But, of course, you may ask, how much smiling do you need to witness to know she’s interested?

When you tell a story, is she smiling at you while listening? That’s good. Does she glance over at you and give you a smile when someone else is speaking? That’s good too. So, don’t read too much into it. Relax, you’ll know if she’s interested.

Woman making eye contact and smiling at man, showing interest in him.

6). She Enjoys Being near You​

You’re asking, How can you tell if she likes being near you? Here’s how: If she sits down next to you or inches closer, she’s trying to figure out how you’ll react to being so close to each other. 

Here’s where you’ll take the opportunity to gently brush your hand against hers. If she flinches, maybe you startled her, but it could also be that you’ve misread her signs, so be prepared for rejection. However, if she responds positively, she’d be happy with you making the first move.

7). She’s Interested in Knowing All about You​

If she asks you questions about your family, friends, where you went to school, and hobbies, it’s a gigantic hint that she’s interested in you. A girl who likes you wants to know all about you because she’s trying to figure out if you’re a good match. 

This is the perfect opportunity to open up and see what happens. When you do, she’ll probably follow your lead and divulge more information about herself.

8). She Stares at Your Mouth​

What if she’s always looking at the general area of your mouth? If this is the case, she’s either looking at that gigantic pimple on your chin or perhaps interested in a soft and gentle kiss from you in the near future. Since your complexion is as smooth as a baby’s bottom, it must be the lips.

9). She Pulls You Aside from the Group​

If you’re in a group setting, PDA (Public Displays of Affection) can feel awkward, especially if you’re uncomfortable with that. 

So, if she pulls you aside under the guise of having to talk to you about something or show you something, she wants to get you alone. She just wants to do it when you both feel more comfortable. 

Woman Pulling Man Aside to Be Alone

10). She Drops Hints​

You may know her from work, school, or other places where people don’t generally socialize or disclose their relationship status. But if she complains about not having a date for the holiday party during the Christmas season or that she has two tickets to the game but doesn’t have anyone to go with, she’s probably dropping hints and is nudging you to make the first move. So, if you want to be her date, you’d better make a move soon.

Signs She’s Not Interested​

Just as some signs indicate her interest, others indicate Get lost! So if you’re getting mixed signals, check out these signs that may help clear up the confusion.

1). She Says to You That She’s Not Interested​

While this might seem obvious, it’s not clear to everyone. Unfortunately, some guys won’t get (or take) the hint and keep making advances when a woman says “no,” and mean it.

If she tells you to back off, please listen and move along. She is not interested in you.

Additionally, if she says she has a boyfriend, but you suspect she’s lying, she’s definitely not interested in you. Think about it; she took the time to lie to your face so you wouldn’t ask her out. 

2). You’ve Been Friend-Zoned​

If she constantly tells you what a great friend you are, don’t take that to mean she’s interested in making your friendship into something more. It’s the opposite. If you’ve been there for her as a friend, she may appreciate that and simply wants to let you know. 

Unfortunately, once you’ve been tucked into the friend zone, you rarely get out of there alive. As a result, you will likely always be considered “a great friend” and nothing else. 

3). Her Body Language Shouts, “No, Thank You!”​

Sometimes, a woman is shy about making the first move, and sometimes, she’s not interested at all. So always pay attention if she does the following:

  • Looks away from you and avoids eye contact
  • In confined spots, she attempts to move away
  • Crosses her arms over her chest in a defiant manner
  • Flinches when you touch her
  • Dodges you at parties or any social gathering
  • Keeps to one-word responses when you try to talk to her

If she does any of these signs, she’s not interested. If you still have questions, it’s easier to ask or just leave her alone. It will save both you and her uncomfortable encounters.

4). She Never Makes Plans with You​

You could be trying to make future plans with her, but if she always seems on the fence and says something like, “I think my hometown best friend is coming down that weekend,” she’s being vague and likely not interested in you in that way.

Has she flaked out on your plans numerous times with excuses like, “I had to go to this work thing,” or “My sister came from out of town?” If someone wants to be with you, they’ll make time. If not, they’ll come up with excuses like the ones above, and in that case, stop wasting time and find someone else to connect with

5). She Asks for Advice about Other Guys​

If she comes to you and asks for advice on dealing with another guy, you can be sure that she doesn’t see you as anything other than a friend. Yes, she may be interested in dating, but it won’t be with you.

She may like having you in her life and probably values your opinion as a guy. But don’t get caught up in thinking you’ll sway her mind about that guy and choose you instead. It’s not going to happen. 

The best thing you can do is to be OK with being her friend and offer genuine advice when she asks. But if you’re looking to date, consider finding someone else.

Key Takeaways

A woman gives signs if she is uncomfortable making the first move, but she’s interested in you. Some signs are easy to read, like gently touching your arm as you talk. 

Other signs are more subtle, and you may need more probing. While it’s OK to make the first move if you feel the signs are pointing in a positive direction, sometimes, you can be wrong.

Let it go as soon as you recognize that she’s not interested. Remember, someone rarely moves out of the friend zone, so don’t waste your time. Instead, chalk it up to miscommunication and move on with your search. There are plenty of ways to find the perfect girl for you. If she isn’t the one, don’t worry, you’ll find someone who is.   

Leroy Vandalay
Leroy Vandalay

Leroy Vandalay is a dating app veteran with over a decade of experience using these services for his own personal life. He ultimately looks forward to sharing this acquired knowledge with you, the readers.