Has Your Partner Checked Out of the Relationship?

Disappointed Woman - Man Asking a Question

Have you begun noticing your partner creating distance between the two of you? Even if they haven’t said anything out loud, you can feel there is a difference.

Unfortunately, most things have a life cycle that comes to an end. Relationships are no different. We’re not talking about physical death but rather the death of a relationship when a partner totally checks out but doesn’t end things with you.

There are some telling signs if you feel like your relationship isn’t in a good place right now. We’ll discuss things to look for that indicate your partner has lost interest and checked out of your relationship. 

Here Are 10 Signs Your Partner Has Completely Checked Out of Your Relationship

Sadly, if a partner has completely checked out, it can be almost impossible to get things back on track or back to how they used to be.

Although this is devastating, it’s best to realize that this is happening so you’ll have the opportunity to reassess your future and what makes you happy.

Let’s take a look at the signs your partner has checked out of your relationship. Knowing these signs will help you evaluate whether ending or working on things is the best decision for your situation. 

1. They Continuously Forget the Things That Are Important to You

If a relationship is working, both partners will try to remember the things that are important to each other. Typically, this is especially true during the beginning stages of a romantic relationship when you try to impress each other.

Most partners will remember things like your favorite food, how you like your morning coffee, and your birthday — or significant events like the passing of a parent. They make sure to always be there for you.

  • When a partner starts forgetting the things that matter to you, it’s a letdown and a sign that they are checked out of the relationship.
  • When they frequently forget things that matter to you and aren’t apologetic, you’re justified in assuming they don’t care for you as much as they once did.

2. They No Longer Communicate with You

In most healthy romantic relationships, both partners are open to communication. They will go out of their way to communicate daily. You can speak about anything and everything when you and your partner are good communicators. That includes the things that make you happy and the events that have left you emotionally distraught.

When your partner has completely checked out, they will start to pull away from you by refusing to communicate with you. You both will no longer talk out things that are bothering you or about misunderstandings, causing strain in your relationship.

Suppose they often give you the cold shoulder or shut you out when you want to talk to them. In that case, you need to reevaluate your relationship and if it’s really what you want. After all, if a relationship doesn’t have communication, there can be no trust or forward progress.

3. They Don’t Want to Make Time to Spend Time with You

Both partners want to spend as much time together when a relationship is thriving. Date nights are a common occurrence, and evenings spent at home together are the norm.

If you suddenly (or gradually) notice that your partner is avoiding spending time with you, it’s a significant sign they have checked out of the relationship, emotionally or mentally.

Ask yourself if you have noticed that you’re spending more time alone. Meanwhile, your partner is always busy doing something else they are interested in. If you’ve concluded this is the case, it’s time to find out the cause, and if it’s fixable, otherwise, the end of the relationship is neigh.

4. They Prioritize Their Friendships Over You

Sustainable and healthy romantic relationships require both partners to have friendships they invest time in outside the relationship.

Yet, if you start noticing that your partner is continuously spending time with friends instead of with you, it’s a good sign that they are looking for a way out of the relationship.

If you notice that you’re constantly playing second fiddle to your partner’s friendships, you need to confront them and examine whether they’re still as committed to the relationship as they once were. Sometimes there could be a reason for spending more time with friends, which could be reasonable. So before calling it quits, talk to them first.

Woman Sitting Alone at a Party

5. They No Longer Argue with You

It might not seem like it, but arguing, to a certain extent, is healthy for a couple. After all, conflict is expected in a romantic relationship.

So, when your partner stops picking fights or responding to arguments, it’s a sign they are checking out because they don’t view the relationship as worth fighting for.

Unfortunately, many mistakenly believe that when the fighting stops, it’s something to be relieved about. In reality, the relationship is over.

Once you’ve noticed that arguments have started to slow and heated discussions are a thing of the past, it might be time to bring it up with your partner. Get their opinion on why this might be the case. Knowing their thoughts will help you determine if Splitsville is on the horizon. 

6. They Don’t Talk about the Things That Bug Them Anymore

Arguably, one of the biggest perks of being in a committed relationship with someone you love (or are learning love) is that you can vent your frustrations without being judged.

Ultimately, when your partner starts to withdraw and not talk about what bugs them anymore, it’s a sure sign they have completely checked out of the relationship. When they stop talking about their frustrations, they no longer try to fix the issues with you and no longer see your input as valuable.

It’s tough to come back from this, especially if there are underlying reasons like distrust, annoyance, or differences in opinion that make them unable to share their problems with you.

7. They Have Begun Separating Your Overlapping Lives

It’s natural for your life to overlap with your partners, especially if you have been together for many years. That’s why when you notice that your partner is trying to slowly detangle your life from theirs, something is wrong in the relationship, i.e., they are checking out.

Men and women will try to disengage from one another’s lives when they feel a relationship isn’t working. This is so that when the time comes, they can experience a clean break from their partner with little fuss or stress.

Noticing the signs can be challenging, especially if your partner is sneaky. For example, if you see that your partner takes something of theirs with them every time they leave your home without bringing any replacements, they could be checked out and prepared to leave you. 

8. They Are Always Critiquing You

Although critiquing is not always bad in a relationship, it can be if your partner is critiquing you to be hurtful or malicious. Your partner should try to build you up and ensure your happiness with positive affirmations and guidance when you’ve done something wrong.

If they are focused on ruining your self-esteem with degrading or disparaging comments, it’s a sign they have checked out of the relationship and no longer care about your feelings. No one deserves to be torn down simply because a relationship isn’t working, so don’t stay if you can see that things won’t resolve themselves.

9. They Don’t Ask You about Your Day Anymore

As trivial as it might seem, asking about your partner’s day is essential. So if they no longer ask about yours, it’s a sign they have checked out. Since partners need to understand and engage with one another’s lives and inner worlds, it’s essential to know the day-to-day goings on.

Woman Criticizing Her Partner

When this is bypassed, distance occurs between partners, and drifting occurs. Should you want to be connected to your partner and prevent them from checking out, you must constantly be kept abreast of how their day was and any things that bothered them. 

10. They Have Stopped Being Affectionate

In most romantic relationships, affection is of the utmost importance. It shows you care about and love your partner. If your partner has stopped touching you, giving you hugs, cuddling you, kissing you, or being sympathetic to your concerns, it shows they have cooled off on the relationship.

Without intimacy, love cannot exist in a relationship


However, you should note that physical intimacy will come and go when you’re involved in a long-term relationship. Emotional intimacy and affection are non-negotiable parts of a relationship. One of the most glaring red flags that a relationship lacks both of those things is when the couple stops laughing or joking with one another.

It may be too late to resolve things if they have checked out. However, suppose you and your partner can agree there is still hope or want to try again. In that case, it’s best to seek help from a trustworthy therapist who can help you work through your problems together.

Matt Marino
Matt Marino

Matt Marino is an online content writer for DatingApps.com, specializing in trending blogs and dating app reviews. He is a graduate of Geneva College with a Bachelor of the Arts in Communications.