Ghosting is a term that became mainstream in the last decade alongside online dating. In 2017 it even earned a place in the Merriam-Webster dictionary, but its origins can be traced back to the 1990s since ghosting is not a new phenomenon.
If you have ever been ghosted, you likely know how much it can hurt, especially if you believe you have found something real with someone. Even though ghosting is common, many don’t understand why a person can go from vibing and talking of the future to stone-cold silence.
Yet, why has ghosting become such a buzzword and a widely accepted form of ending a relationship? The answer is simple. Ghosting is common because online dating has made it easier than ever for one person to ghost another. You might find what we have to say interesting if you want to avoid a future ghosting situation. We’ve gathered why women ghost men and what you should do about it. Avoid ghosting, and you can potentially steer clear of heartbreak.
What Is Ghosting?
It’s likely you have a solid idea of what ghosting is, but we want to clear up any confusion before diving into why women ghost men.
Ghosting refers to abruptly ending contact with someone without giving the person any explanation or warning. When someone has ghosted you, they won’t re-initiate contact to give you closure, even if you ask them why they have ended communication.
If your date has ghosted you, it’s akin to them vanishing into thin air (like a ghost would do) because you’ll likely never hear from them again.
What Are the Signs of Ghosting?
Sometimes ghosting isn’t a clean break. It can be a gradual tortuous process that you might not realize. When this happens, it’s known as ‘soft ghosting’ because the person you’re dating casually or seriously progressively begins minimizing contact with you.
If this is happening to you, some early signs can help determine if you need to end things before you are officially ghosted to save you some heartbreak. Some of these signs include:
- A partner regularly takes rainchecks on plans to see you.
- A partner disappears from social media for a few days or weeks.
- A partner who struggles to make and stick to commitments.
- A partner who refuses to meet your family and friends.
- A partner who doesn’t share much personal information with you.
- A partner rarely responds to your calls or texts unless it suits them.
- A partner who cannot engage in any deep conversations with you.
What Are the Top 10 Reasons Why Women Ghost Men?
There are almost countless reasons why women ghost men. We cannot mention every reason, but we can discuss the top 10 you need to be aware of when in a casual or serious relationship. Let’s have a look at them below.
1. You Show Her That You’re Too Serious
Women ghost men who show them they are too serious too early on. This is because the hot and heavy approach can be scary and intimidating, especially when a woman hasn’t had a chance to warm up to the idea of a serious relationship.
Even if you know that you have found the one, you need to stop yourself from showing her how invested you are. This doesn’t mean you mustn’t show that you’re enthusiastic about getting to know her but don’t be too heavy-handed on the compliments and personal questions in the initial dating stages.
Additionally, many women ghost men who try too hard to impress them. They tend to pull away rather than toward men who are too intense. Should you think this is your problem and don’t want to get ghosted, you need to wait for the woman you’re interested in to be as invested in you as you are in her.
2. She Is Dating Multiple People
Many women will ghost men because they are dating multiple people at once. In this scenario, it usually isn’t your fault, as the woman you’re interested in might have simply chosen to invest her time with someone else.
If you know the person you’re seeing is dating many people, you need to be wary of being ghosted at a moment’s notice.
3. You Have Shown Her Poor Communication Skills
Do you have a communication problem, or are you a terrible conversationalist? If so, these are traits that could get you ghosted. Unfortunately, many women ghost men who show them poor communication skills.
Communication is paramount to a woman, so if you’re showing her you can’t text back or call to carry on a personal conversation, she will take her attention elsewhere. This doesn’t mean you have to be the world’s best communicator; it just means you need to pay attention and get a feel of how much communication your partner needs or wants.
Additionally, women ghost men who are not clear on their thoughts or emotions and those who can’t communicate maturely.
4. You Look Different from the Images You Shared Online
Nobody wants to be catfished, which is why honesty is the best policy in online dating. Unsurprisingly, most people see posting pictures to a dating profile that lie about how you look as an almost cardinal sin. So if you have lied about your appearance, you can expect to be ghosted.
If a woman learns that you have lied about your height, eye color, body physique, or other identity markers like tattoos, you stand a good chance of being ghosted. This is because if you lie about your appearance, she thinks you could have lied about the other information you shared with her.
5. You Didn’t Put In Enough Effort on Your First Date
For most women, first dates matter, so if you didn’t put in enough effort, it could be why she ghosted you afterward. In addition, many women ghost men with whom they have a stilted conversation on a first date. So, it’s best to try and be comfortable with your date (virtual ones, too!) even if you are shy.
Now with that said, not all women expect extravagant first dates. Most just expect you to be a bit prepared with what you want to discuss, and most importantly, they want to know more about you. So, be ready to share but don’t overshare, and don’t shy away from basic personal questions (it’s okay to share your real age, ahem).
Moreover, women want to feel special, so try and make a date unique and ensure the activity you’re planning is something that interests you both. Presented with an amazing first date is a recipe for success, i.e., avoiding being ghosted.
6. Her Friends Don’t Like You
Unfortunately, if the friends of the woman you’re dating don’t like you, there’s a high probability that’s the reason why she ghosted you. Many women will ask their friends for their thoughts and opinions on the guy she is dating. She might share screenshots of your conversations or get you to meet her friends.
If you don’t pass the friend test and they disapprove of you, there’s a considerable chance the person you’re seeing will lose interest and ghost you. After all, her friends have been in her life far longer than you have.
7. She Has Determined That You Turn Her Off
Women have complex emotional and physical desires, so it’s unsurprising that many will ghost men they date when they get turned off. If you did something to turn her off or have character traits or flaws she doesn’t like, there’s a high chance you won’t be seeing her for much longer.
For example, women will ghost men if turned off by their values, attitudes, physical appearance, emotional stability, mindset, or financial stability. Sometimes, you could also get ghosted for rumors that she has heard about you
8. You’re Boring or Lazy
Women will tolerate many things, but if they find you lazy or boring, it’s a surefire way to get ghosted. This is because most women crave adventure and want to be with someone who will be an active helper in life.
If you have an outdated mindset, you will struggle to find a woman to spend your life with.
9. She Believes You Weren’t Taking Her Seriously
Suppose a woman wants to be taken seriously because they are ready for a relationship, and you’re giving off vibes that you aren’t looking for anything serious. In that case, there’s a high likelihood she will ghost you.
So if you were ghosted and knew the woman you were dating wanted something serious, it could be because you were not making any serious relationship moves.
10. You Displayed Red Flags
Every person has their own red flags that they try to avoid when it comes to dating. However, most women will ghost men who are:
Thus if you have any of these traits, it could be why the last woman in your life ghosted you. If you don’t want to get ghosted in the future, you need to work on your toxic qualities that could be red flags.
What Should You Do if a Woman Has Ghosted You?
If a woman has ghosted you, knowing what to do or, in some instances, what not to do to preserve your pride and integrity is essential. Ghosting is never a pleasant situation, so we’ve listed a few pointers on what you should do to navigate it.
1. Don’t Guilt Trip Her
One of the worst things you should avoid doing if you have been ghosted is guilt-tripping the woman who has ghosted you. It might be tempting, but you will prove her point if you make her feel terrible about herself because she chose to end things with you.
If the woman you have been speaking to ghosts you after the first date, it’s best to cut your losses and move on. She will likely feel bad, so it doesn’t make sense to draw out both of your misery.
To avoid guilt-tripping, don’t say things like “you have now ruined my night” or “you have wasted my time and money.”
In addition, learning not to guilt trip someone will help prevent you from becoming a red flag. If you mention that you were ghosted in the past and how you handled it to someone you start seeing in the future, they won’t find you toxic.
2. Don’t Overreact or Become Aggressive
Overreacting or becoming aggressive is the worst action you could take when you have been ghosted. Many women will cancel the first date to see how you react, so if you lose your temper and act aggressively, she will see how badly you react under pressure and ghost you.
Since this ‘screening test’ is common, it’s best to be agreeable and compromising if a woman cancels the first date. She’s trying to filter out the bad from the good so show her that you’re one of the good guys who are calm and understanding, and you might get that date you’ve been after.
3. Don’t Beg Her to Message or See You
If a woman has ghosted you, don’t beg her to message or see you. Not only is this demeaning to you, but it can also appear like you are becoming a stalker or someone who cannot handle rejection.
It’s understandable that you would be upset and want to find out why you were ghosted, but it’s not worth your pride to beg someone to talk to you or be with you if they don’t want to. You’re also setting yourself up for an unhealthy relationship if they do re-initiate contact down the line.
4. Get Rid of All Contact Avenues Leading To Her
It doesn’t help to be continuously reminded of the woman who ghosted you, which is why it’s a good idea to eliminate all contact avenues that lead to her. You should block her phone number, remove her as a friend on Facebook, and unfollow her on Instagram.
If you also exchanged emails, it’s a good idea to block her email address. Additionally, suppose you took any images together and posted them on social media. In that case, taking them down is a good idea, so you’re not reminded or asked about the woman who ghosted you.
5. Examine Your Mistakes
Should you know where you went wrong, you can avoid being ghosted in the future. That’s why it’s a good idea to examine what you could have done wrong and determine how you can fix it so that your future relationships don’t suffer.
Yet, you should remember that just because a woman ghosted you doesn’t mean you automatically did something wrong. Some women ghost men because of reasons you cannot fix. Or because they don’t like your personality, which is something you shouldn’t change for someone else if there is nothing wrong with it.
How Can Being Ghosted Impact You?
Being ghosted can have a profound psychological impact on you. Unfortunately, regardless of whether you were seeing the person for a few weeks or a few months, being ghosted still hurts and can have a negative impact on your emotional and mental health.
Those who have been ghosted often experience depression, and some can develop poor self-esteem, especially if they have been ghosted more than once. Additionally, since most of the time, you won’t know why you have been ghosted, it can inspire feelings of rejection, grief, guilt, and shame.
Wrap-up on Why Women Ghost Men
Hopefully, now that you know why women ghost men, you have an idea of what not to do and can take steps to improve your chances of having a successful relationship.
As long as you take what we said to heart, you should have an easier time maintaining a prosperous relationship. Yet, you should also remember the tips we gave surrounding what to do after being ghosted, as those are also important if you want to move on and continue your search for love.