Showing signs of affection early in a relationship isn’t always a problem. In fact, it’s something to be admired when done properly. It can be a genuine way to express how you feel and make your partner feel special. Love bombing, on the other hand, is something entirely different.
This article explains everything you need to know about love bombing and how to spot these signs before it’s too late.
What Is Love Bombing?
Love bombing is a term used to describe the act of showering someone with attention and affection, usually in the early stages of a relationship.
While it might sound sweet at first, love bombing is actually a form of manipulation. The goal is to control and overpower their victim by making them feel loved and needed. This can be done through constant compliments, gifts, or even sex.
In some cases, love bombers will go as far as to isolate their victims from friends and family, making them utterly dependent on them. If you’re starting to feel like your partner’s affections are suffocating you, it might be time to take a step back and reassess the situation.
When Love Bombing Becomes Dangerous
Love bombing can quickly turn from sweet to sour. In some cases, it can even become dangerous. If your partner is love bombing you, it’s important to be aware of the warning signs. These might include:
- Making you feel like you can’t live without them
- Isolating you from friends and family
- Gaslighting you or making you doubt your own sanity
- Physical violence or threats of violence
- Constant jealousy and possessiveness
- Manipulative behavior
If you’re experiencing any of these signs, you must reach out for help. There are many resources available to victims of domestic abuse, and you should never feel alone.
What Are the Different Stages of Being Love-Bombed?
There are four different stages of being love bombed:
Stage 1: The Idealization Phase
In the beginning, everything is perfect. Your partner seems like the ideal match, and they can’t do enough for you. They might even say, “I love you,” after only a few weeks of dating.
This phase is often short-lived, as reality starts to set in and your partner’s true colors begin to show. However, it can be easy to get swept up in the moment and ignore the warning signs.
Stage 3: The Discard Phase
Once your partner has finished devaluing you, they will often move on to someone else. This can happen suddenly, or they might gradually start to pull away until they’re completely gone.
This is usually when the love bomber reveals their true colors. They might say hurtful things or even threaten violence. If you’re in this situation, it’s crucial to reach out for help. There are many resources available to victims of domestic abuse.
Stage 2: The Devaluation Phase
After the honeymoon phase ends, your partner will start to nitpick at your faults and find ways to put you down. They might also begin to withdraw their affection, making you feel like you’re not good enough for them.
This phase can be confusing and hurtful, but it’s important to remember that your partner’s behavior is not your fault. No one deserves to be treated this way.
Stage 4: The Hoovering Phase
After the love bomber has discarded you, they might start showing up again out of the blue. They might say they miss you or try to convince you to take them back. This is known as “hoovering.”
Hoovering is a manipulative tactic used to draw victims back in. It’s important to be aware of this behavior and not fall for it. If your ex is hoovering you, it’s best to block their number and move on with your life.
Can Love Bombing Ever Be a Good Thing?
While love bombing is usually a sign of unhealthy behavior, there are some cases where it can be positive.
For example, if you’re in a long-distance relationship, your partner might show their love for you by sending you thoughtful gifts or planning fun activities for when you finally meet up.
As long as both partners are happy and healthy, there’s nothing wrong with showing your love this way. However, it’s important to ensure that your partner reciprocates your affections. If they’re not, it might be time to have a serious discussion about your relationship.
How to Recover from Being Love-Bombed
If you’ve been the victim of a love bombing, it’s essential to take some time to recover. This might involve:
- Cutting off all contact with your abuser
- Getting professional help to deal with the emotional trauma
- Reaching out to friends and family for support
- Building up your self-esteem
- Making healthy lifestyle choices to take care of yourself
Recovering from being love-bombed can be a long and challenging process. Still, it’s important to remember that you’re not alone. There are many resources available to help you through this tough time.
What Does a Healthy, Intimate Relationship Look Like?
A healthy, intimate relationship should be built on trust, respect, and mutual affection. Both partners should feel free to express their needs and wants without fear of judgment or rejection.
There should be give and take in the relationship, and both partners should feel like they’re equally invested in it. Lastly, a healthy relationship should make both partners happy and fulfilled. If you’re unsure if your relationship is healthy, contact a professional for help.
Final Thoughts
Love bombing is a kind of emotional abuse that can be extremely damaging to the victim. If you think you’re being love bombed, it’s critical to reach out for help. There are many resources available to victims of domestic abuse.
If you’re in a healthy relationship, there’s nothing wrong with showing your affection for your partner. However, it’s just as necessary to make sure that your partner is reciprocating your affections. Otherwise, you might be in an unhealthy relationship and need to get out of it.