Sayyyyy what? Yeah, friends, you heard me correctly. TINDER Vault is really going to encourage virgins to dish out six grand a year with the hopes of getting laid. Okay, maybe that’s a little mean. But a prostitute is probably cheaper.
Okay, I’ll stop. But seriously?! To put this into perspective, 500 a month is my car payment, a portion of my mortgage, and probably close to what I spend on wine. Why would someone ever spend this on a dating app? I know what you’re thinking.
Well, you don’t know me, Abi. I’m not good at dating. I need help. Well, let me ask you this: if Tinder’s premium Gold membership couldn’t help you get laid, why would the tentatively named Tinder Vault be any different? And this begs the question. Maybe this isn’t about getting people laid.
What Does It Offer?
We don’t know. Yep. You heard me correctly. Tinder’s chief product officer Mark Van Ryswyk has given no word on when the subscription will launch and declined to comment on any of the features or benefits that would come with the price tag, saying only:
“[We’re] really looking at a whole range of additional value-add services to Tinder, overall.”
While not the first dating app to be invited, Tinder was quick to gain a reputation as a way to meet new people and get laid in the process. Its straightforward user interface and swipe left, swipe right became a quick part of pop culture, finding its way to South Park, becoming Netflix documentaries, and showing up in rap lyrics.
Still, post-Covid, Tinder’s stocks have plummeted, and with quarter declines, the new CEO, appointed last year, clearly has some plans to turn things around.
Other Premium Dating Apps
The cost of premium dating apps can vary depending on a variety of factors, including the specific app, the features included in the premium subscription, and the user’s location and age.
As a general estimate, the cost of Tinder Plus ranges from $9.99 to $19.99 per month, while Tinder Gold is between $14.99 to $29.99 per month. Bumble Boost typically ranges from $8.99 to $24.99, and Hinge Preferred is around $9.99 to $19.99 per month. BUT–these are not the only dating apps out there.
If you’re a dating blogger, have an unlimited bank account, or hold a status that separates you from the typical plebeians of the world, then you probably know of the League, Luxy, and Elite Singles.
These high-end apps are geared toward the wealthy and are considered exclusive opportunities to meet like-minded people who have climbed the Mount Everest of money and success.
So maybe the new Tinder subscription is trying to keep up with this high-end dating app environment. But even then, something isn’t adding up. Tinder’s direct competitor, for example, the high-end dating app, Raya, is only $19.99 a month.
However, while Tinder is a widely used and mainstream dating app that is accessible to a broad range of users, Raya is a more exclusive and selective app that caters to individuals who are looking for a high-end dating experience.
Raya has gained a reputation as a “celebrity” dating app, with many high-profile users and a strict application process that filters out less desirable candidates. For that price, you can be swiping with the likes of Ben Affleck, Demi Lovato, and Channing Tatum. Except, it’s so exclusive the only people accepted are usually referred by a current member.
While with Tinder, I could make a profile for my dog.
It’s likely Tinder Vault isn’t attempting to be the new exclusive celebrity dating app, especially if stars like that are only paying $9.99. Which brings us to the other high-end apps with a higher price point.
Elite Singles specializes in connecting highly educated and successful individuals and offers three tiers of subscriptions ranging from $49.99 to $179.99. The League is similar, with a monthly membership fee of $199. Both offer a curated and selective dating experience, with a rigorous application process and an emphasis on career success and ambition.
Luxy, on the other hand, is designed explicitly for millionaires and high-net-worth individuals looking for a partner with similar financial success. It offers a variety of premium features and benefits, including the ability to verify income and wealth, and hosts exclusive events for its members. The monthly membership starts at $99.99 a month.
What’s the Angle Here?
This, of course, begs the question. If there are dating apps geared toward literal millionaires that are a fifth of the cost of Tinder Vault’s five hundred dollars a month subscription–then what the hell is Tinder’s new subscription planning on offering their members? Maybe they’re planning on hiring personal dating experts to design your profile for you. But even that seems like a lot.
One of my guy friends paid me twenty dollars to make his Tinder profile once, so if this is the case, then Tinder, are you hiring? Maybe this five hundred dollar fee will get you exclusive entrances to fancy restaurants near you.
Or perhaps you’ll get opportunities to join threesomes with Bradley Cooper or Brad Pitt? It seems just as outlandish, but at that price point, they must be offering something unique; otherwise, why drop breadcrumbs of what you’re planning without giving details? Oh, I know why. For the hype.
I have a theory. And a little story time to get you there. I majored in art, and one of the first questions my professor asked our class was, What is art? And the answer was interesting. Art is what you make it.
In 1961, an Italian artist, Piero Manzoni, filled tin cans with his excrement and not only called them art but sold them for what would currently equate to $1600 USD. And people bought it! 300,000 dollars worth, in fact. How is that possible, you ask?
I have a hunch that this is what Tinder is trying to do. If the price of Luxy is meant for millionaires, then Tinder Vault is literally pricing itself for the billionaires of the world.
Yet, while other high-end apps start fresh, Tinder plans to add to its already somewhat sketchy reputation as a hook-up app. And I hate to say it, but I don’t think that’s going to change. And it’s kind of silly in my mind.
I have plenty of single friends looking for relationships who still use Tinder. Sure, they’re more optimistic about serious love on Hinge or Match, but they still try out Tinder because the bottom line, unless the app specifically states it is only designed for hook-ups or friends with benefits–which Tinder does not–then there’s a chance you can link up with someone who wants love just as much as finding a one-night stand or a summer fling.
And every dating app has that possibility, not just Tinder. Even the free versions!
So unless Tinder Vault’s $ 500-a-month subscription is going to reserve me and a plus-one spots on Richard Branson’s next ship to the moon, then I’m good. Because let’s be real–what can Tinder really offer for that much money that you can’t get from these other high-end dating apps that are significantly cheaper? I’m curious, really. I guess time will tell.
But my prediction? Chances are, it will probably turn out to be a pile of poop.