You’re crushing on this beautiful girl and want to make the first move. But, unfortunately, you have no game when it comes to talking to them. Your palms sweat, and you stutter or completely freeze when you try to approach them. Your confidence is dead in the water. You see other guys talk to girls easily, but it’s not happening for you.
Whether you’re looking to shoot your shot via social media, text, or face-to-face, we can show you how! Shooting your shot is about being bold and confident that she’ll say yes, but not cocky in a douchey way. That’s something different.
However, you should approach her in a way that makes her say, “Who wouldn’t want to go out with me?” So, if you’re interested in being that guy, keep reading for tips and tricks to win your crush’s heart.
1). Give Compliments
Who doesn’t love a compliment? However, for it to stick, be genuine. For example, don’t say you love her outfit and know nothing about fashion. It sounds disingenuous, and she’ll know.
Instead, compliment something you find attractive, like her beautiful brown eyes. This gives you a chance to look her in her eyes as you pay the compliment.
Complimenting someone’s appearance is always good if you mean it, but it’s only a start. Unfortunately, girls hear that type of praise all the time.
However, they don’t always hear praise for something other than their looks. For instance, also let her know what you find interesting about her. Here are a few examples of compliments on looks and character.
2). Decide When and Where to Approach Her
When shooting your shot, lock down the perfect time and place. If you approach her in person, do it when she’s not distracted or busy. For instance, you want to avoid hovering around if she’s with friends or engrossed in work.
If you send a message, do it at a decent hour. You want to avoid hitting send at three in the morning because that’s just creepy, especially if this is your first time messaging her.
If you know she works from nine to five, or has a class in the afternoon, don’t disturb her. Instead, send the message when there’s a better chance she’s home. Doing so is respectful and will help increase your chance of getting a positive response. Here are 3 tips to remember on where and when to approach her.
- If in the same class, avoid approaching her during the lecture. Instead, wait until after the class has ended or before it begins.
- Approach her when her friends are not surrounding her. Wait until she’s alone so she won’t be distracted. If it looks like her friends may be around for a while, see #3.
- Go up to her, smile, and ask if she would like to meet with you for a chat later. She’ll either agree to meet later or be glad to ditch her friends and talk to you now.
3). Comment on Her Posts
Social media is one of the easiest ways to shoot your shot, especially for shy guys, and it doesn’t matter whether or not you know her IRL.
You should like and comment on her post because it’s an excellent way to say, “Hey, I’m noticing you!” But, of course, in the beginning, she may not notice, especially if she has a lot of followers.
Still, the more you interact with her via social media, the more she’ll take notice and eventually check out your profile. So comment with anything that comes to mind, but go for friendly, flirty, and light-hearted comments that showcase your sense of humor. Check out the examples below.
- “Do you always look this good?”
- “Looking so sweet, as always.”
- “That food looks delicious. I’m coming over for some.”
- “Awww, did you make that cake for me?”
- “This post made my day, thanks!”
4). Ask Open-Ended Questions
It shouldn’t feel like pulling teeth when talking to someone, especially if you’re attempting to shoot your shot. One-word answers are awkward and embarrassing and will shut down the conversation faster than the speed of light!
If you’re hesitant to “go live” with in-person contact, try messaging her via social media. It’s an excellent way to get her attention.
Start the conversation by DMing her with an open-ended question. You’re trying to break the ice when you shoot your shot, so ask a question she has to answer.
For example, comment on one of her Instagram or Facebook posts and follow that up with a question. “That’s a cool picture of the Grand Canyon. When was this taken?” You can also message her about something in her bio. Here are some examples of what we mean.
✔️ “What do you think will be the hardest part of next week’s test?”
✔️ “I read that book, too. What was your favorite part?”
✔️ “Your kitten is cute. How old is he?”
✔️ “What’s your favorite pasta? I’m just curious.”
5). Try to Make Her Smile
A sense of humor is the ultimate icebreaker. If you want to make her laugh, send humorous memes, tell a corny joke, or a cheesy pick-up line that she can’t help but cringe at. This will help eliminate any awkwardness when you approach her. In addition, gain some bonus points by basing your funny messages around her interests. Here are a few examples.
1. “Did you fall from Heaven? Because I’m looking at my perfect angel.”
2. “Stop, thief! You stole my heart.”
3. “I’m calling the authorities because it has got to be illegal to be this attractive.”
Yes, these lines are cringey, but a girl with a good sense of humor will find them funny.
Ways to Impress Your Crush
Remember having a crush? Did you ever do anything about it or keep quiet and let them ride off into the sunset with someone else? If you’re crushing hard right now, here are some tips that say, “Hey, I really like you!”
- Give them flowers: This is an oldie but goodie. The best thing is you can decide which type of flowers to give. For a more romantic touch, give them roses. Dandelions are another sweet approach. This idea is great for guys and girls.
- Say it with a romantic song: Send them a video that uses their favorite tune. It can be funny or romantic. This is a nice gesture that indicates you were listening to their interests.
- Give a personal touch: Send your crush a text, but personalize it with an interest of theirs. For example, end your text with a ninja emoji if she’s into martial arts.
- Chocolates: This is another old-school idea. It’s still around because, well, it works. Besides, who doesn’t love freakin’ chocolates?
- Give a small gesture: Do something small they would appreciate. For instance, if you notice her carrying a lot of heavy books to class, offer to help.
- Send them jokes: A sense of humor is always a winner when impressing a crush. So send her a funny viral video but add a personal message like, “Just something I thought you’d enjoy!”
- Speak to them: Sometimes, it’s the smallest thing you can think of that will impress your crush. Simply saying hello as you pass them in the halls is an excellent way to get them to notice you. If you feel bold enough, consider striking up a conversation.
- A single flower: We previously said flowers, but giving a single rose or dandelion also makes a great impression. It shows that you’re thinking about them but not trying too hard. And did we mention it’s also lighter on the wallet?
- Recommend a movie: If you read their social media profile, you know they’re a fan of Marvel. In that case, suggest your favorite Spiderman flick. Then, if you’re feeling bold, propose watching it together.
6). Show Your Authentic Self
Never pretend to be someone or something you’re not because if you successfully shoot your shot, she’s fallen for your fake personality and not your true self.
Confidence is key. Realize how amazing you are and that anyone would want to date you. Then, when you approach her, stick with what’s in your gut, and all will be OK. To help you confidently shoot your shot, here are a few suggestions:
- Give yourself a pep talk before approaching her. This will help you feel more self-assured. Do it in the bathroom mirror if you have to.
- Wear your best outfit and make sure you’re comfortable. That self-assuredness will emerge in your conversation if you feel confident in your appearance.
- Walk tall and don’t slouch. Instead, square up your shoulders and hold your head high. You got this!
Tips to Being Your Authentic Self
What exactly does being your authentic self mean? It’s defined as being trustworthy or honest. Others describe it as being “genuine” or “real.” If you’re a reality TV fan, you’ll hear the terms “being fake” or “fake friends”, which is the opposite of authentic.
Here are strategies you can use to not be “fake” and to instead “keep it real” or be authentic:
Embrace Your Strength
To embrace your strengths, you first need to define them. We often don’t know our strengths, so consider them to be how people describe us. For example, your friends always tell you things like:
✔️ You’re always so nice to people
✔️ You’re great at showing up on time
This means your strengths are kindness and punctuality, so these are the traits you should embrace.
Another way to figure out your strengths is to pay attention to things you’re good at. For instance, do you always take the lead in group projects and get everyone in line? Do you usually plot out family activities? These examples would be things you’re good at.
Recognize Your Inner and Outer Influences
What drives you? Some life behaviors and habits we do because of internal motivators. Others come from outside forces, like societal norms and social influences. Establishing your own goals and focusing on how to achieve them is essential when discovering your power.
For example, if you want a promotion, be clear on what that means. What are you hoping to gain once you get the promotion? More money? A bigger influence? A leadership position?
Then, find out why that’s important to you. Does this goal connect to your higher purpose? If so, how? After that, listen to your internal self-speak. For example, do you often use the words “need” or “should”? These words clue us to what drives and motivates us. Here’s an example, “I should go for that next promotion.”
Pay Attention to Your Emotions
Watching your emotions is big when it comes to gaining authenticity. When you listen to your emotions, you can recognize your strengths and core values much easier.
For example, did you get angry because you lost the promotion? Why? You’ll gain more perspective on your true authentic self when you can answer the why.
7). Be Open and Honest about Your Feelings
The last thing you want to do to win her heart is play games. Women are not children; therefore, they don’t have the time or patience to deal with a guy who beats around the bush.
Instead, be direct and tell her how you truly feel. Honesty and vulnerability go a long way when talking to a woman, especially if you’re interested in dating her. So, try saying something like;
✔️ “I think you are an amazing woman.”
✔️ “I feel good when I hang out with you.”
✔️”Do you know how much I like you?”
When you open up to her emotionally, it increases your chances of having a successful, long-lasting relationship.
8). Be Strong and Bold
The more confidence you have, the better your chances. Boldness is attractive and can take you a long way when shooting your shot.
Think about it; it takes guts to tell a girl you like how you feel around them. She’ll be impressed with how you put your feelings out there.
Yes, it can be nerve-wracking, but take a deep breath and let it all out. Don’t worry about being vulnerable because she’ll appreciate it. Then, when you talk to her, speak with conviction while silently claiming, “I got this!” Because you do!
9). Ask Her Out
You’re shooting your shot because you want to ask her out. When you get to this point, you’ve slid into her DMs or have actually had a conversation. You’ve done what was needed to get her attention, so now it’s time to see if all your “hard work” paid off. It’s time to ask her, “Will you go out with me?” Here are some tips to muster up the courage to ask “the big question.”
- First, state your feelings, so she knows it’s not just some random ask-out. Then, when you do, pause and give her a chance to reply.
- If in-person, pay attention to body language. If she leans in and makes physical contact, she may like you, too.
- Have something in mind before asking, and be specific. For example, instead of saying, “Want to hang out sometime?” you could say, “Do you want to go to the movies with me Friday night?”
- Set up the question, so it’s all about her. For instance, “How would you feel if I asked you out on a date for Friday night?” instead of “I want to go out with you.” The former makes it seem like you’re respectfully asking for permission before diving right in.
10). Pay Close Attention
One of the biggest compliments we can give is to show our interest, and you do that by paying attention. Notice her interests and hobbies because we all want to be seen and heard, especially regarding romantic relationships.
Show her you’re genuinely interested by actively listening when she talks. This means you face her, look into her eyes, and occasionally ask her to clarify anything you don’t understand or would like to know more about. Here are 2 great tips to show interest in her.
1. Ask about any hobbies or interests she has. What are her passions? What does she like to do in her free time?
2. Use her interests as ideas for gifts. For example, you may get her a stuffed puppy if she likes animals. Give her a Creed box set if she’s a Michael B. Jordan fan.
11). We All Get Rejected Sometimes
Even if you did everything right, there’s still a chance she might say no, and that’s OK. Every girl is not made to fall at your feet.
She may already have a love interest, or perhaps you’re not her type. That’s OK, too. You gave it your best shot and couldn’t ask for more. The good news is that now you’ll be prepared for next time.
- Don’t worry. There will be more girls out there to get to know
- You didn’t fail. You got more experience you can use next time
- Use the rejection as the opportunity to try again
If this one didn’t work out, it’s not a big deal. They say there are more fish in the sea for a reason, and if you feel ready, try again. You’re a great guy, and the right one will come along and see that. Good luck!