Meeting someone at church to date should be easy, right? They have the same ideologies, mindset, and, of course, goals regarding spirituality and life.
There are plenty of attractive-looking men and women of faith who attend your church. You see them every Sunday and even in the same prayer group. But when it comes to finding someone to date, you fall short. So what are you doing wrong?
If you want to increase your chances of finding someone with similar values, check out these tips on how to meet “the one” at church.
Don’t Rush Out of Church Every Sunday
The best church relationships are formed during the times spent between services when the pastor isn’t preaching. You’re not going to get a date during the brief greeting period, and most times, you only greet the people in your proximity. What about the cute girl on the other side of the sanctuary? Maybe she’d like to be greeted by you, too.
Many people go to church and don’t meet anyone because they arrive just in time for the service to begin and zip out before the pastor can give the last Amen. Then it’s time for the mad dash out to the parking lot to hop in their car and rush home.
Okay, it’s not that bad, but you get the idea.
Next time, try slowing down a bit. Arrive at church a little early and greet the other early birds. Mingle a bit. Get to know people. You see them every Sunday but have yet to speak because you’re racing in and out.
Then, next Sunday, do it all over again. After the service is complete, take your time and linger a bit. Say hello to others. Check out the new programs. Even if you don’t find a potential partner, you’ll learn about new agendas the church is implementing. Who knows—if you join a few activities, you may find the love of your life there.
In any case, you’ll make new friends, meet new people, and enhance your overall church experience. All of these increase your chances of finding an excellent match for you.
Join the Ministry for Singles
Most churches have a form of singles ministry catered to young, unmarried people in search of dating someone with the same core values. The larger the church, the bigger the singles ministry, which increases your chances of finding a potential partner.
A singles ministry is a group that meets up once (or several times) a month to do entertaining activities together. The only prerequisite is that you:
- Must be single
- Must be of a similar faith
The singles ministry is not a dating service, so you won’t be placed in an awkward setting and forced to interact with people of various backgrounds that you may or may not have an interest in.
Instead, the church singles ministry creates a pressure-free environment where you can hang out, meet people, and have a good time with other spiritual singles.
So, you may be thinking, there’s no way you can fit in with a group of the “religious elite singles.” Fortunately, that’s not the case. Typically, the group doesn’t involve judgmental singles who look down on anyone who isn’t up to their level, religiously speaking.
Most members are welcoming and prefer you come as you are instead of pretending to be something you’re not. It’s not filled with people who can quote the Bible cover to cover or who know every spiritual hymn. These groups are simply people looking to keep the company of like-minded individuals, and if love blooms, it’s an added bonus.
The group is there to help you find a potential mate. However, that doesn’t always happen, and that’s fine. The singles ministry also helps build long-term connections with others. And, just because you can’t find love within the group doesn’t mean you can’t find them elsewhere.
Often, people in the group belong to outside religious affiliates, so they can steer you in another direction to help you find what you’re searching for. There’s also a big chance you’ll hear the words, “Hey, I got the perfect person for you!” because these groups always look out for each other.
I wouldn’t suggest joining this group to find your life-long partner specifically. Instead, go into it to meet new people who share your values. Hey, if you meet your perfect partner, that’s great! But regardless of whether or not you meet a person to date, you will come out with some great friends.
Involve Yourself in Church Events
Step out of your comfort zone every once in a while. You will only meet new people and, ultimately, a new partner if you’re placing yourself in situations where you can do so. If the church has a position open, be the first to volunteer.
10 Church Volunteering Opportunities
- Mission leaders
- Worship team
- Church board member
- Technology experts
- Pastoral care assistants
- Sunday school/childcare team
- Office Assistant
- Special event volunteers
Volunteering helps you get to know others on a more sociable level. At the very least, you’ll make some awesome new friends to hang out with in and outside the church.
Sign Up for an Online Religious Dating Site
You don’t need to chisel the words, I’m single, on a slab of rock. Instead, move into modern times and try meeting spiritual singles using a dating app. This way, you can meet like-minded individuals without changing a thing about what you do at church.
Dating sites are an excellent tool for meeting people because they’re filled with thousands upon thousands of higher-quality religious singles in the surrounding area. Some dating apps even include a FREE trial, so check them out today.
Even if you use some tips in this article, sign up for a dating site anyway. It can’t hurt to search for your soulmate using various avenues.
Make It Known You’re Looking for a Relationship
Please don’t walk through the church with a megaphone, shouting, “I am in looking for love, come find me!” But, before people in the church can help you find your soulmate, they should know you’re looking for one. So, whether it’s a friend, a church elder, or even the pastor, they want to help you find love.
They may want to help because they enjoy seeing couples of similar faith in a loving relationship. Or, they like to play matchmaker. Whatever the reason is, they want to help, so let them. Please take advantage of their generosity and allow them to lead you to your destiny.
But they will only be able to do that if they know you are looking. But how will they know? That’s where you come in. You tell them! All these new people and friends that you’re making a connection with should be aware of the fact that you’re unattached.
Sometimes the topic naturally comes up in conversation, and sometimes they flat-out ask if you’re available. Other times, it’s up to you to steer the conversation in a way that tells them you’re single. Church folks are so good at setting people up that once they know, all you have to do is sit back and wait for the dates to come to you.
Start Mingling on Your Own
This idea may sound a little scary, but if you genuinely want to find the person of your dreams, you need to get out there and start meeting people.
You’ve joined the suggested groups. You let your elders know you’re single, and you even volunteered at the church nursery. Now you have to begin talking to people.
Is there someone you’re interested in? Why not talk to them? After having a pleasant conversation:
- Ask for their contact information so you can text them
- Give them your information
- Ask them for coffee if the vibes are right, and you feel comfortable enough
Remember, church members have standards, or a code of conduct, when it comes to men and women meeting each other. So, take your time. Invite a few individuals, including your crush, for a group date, so there’s no pressure on anyone. Once on the date, you can get to them better.
Before asking out a girl at church, you should talk to her family. It may sound old-fashioned, but it’s common practice in the church. Remember, you no longer dash out right after service, so immediately after the next service, take the time to introduce yourself to her parents.
Doing so helps you get to know them while they learn more about you. However, never force a relationship on her. It will feel unnatural and uncomfortable.
Methods to Overcome Shyness
Most people can manage shyness on their own so that it doesn’t negatively impact their lives. However, if you struggle with shyness, here are some practices you can use.
- Practice Socializing: Go out with friends more and make it a point to speak to at least one new person.
- Build Confidence: Often, people are shy because they don’t feel good about their appearance. Start building self-esteem by eating better and exercising more.
- Be Friendly: Start saying hello to people you meet. You don’t need to have a long conversation. Instead, look them in the eye and greet them with a friendly hello.
- Stand Up Tall: Nothing breaks down self-esteem more than slouching. Stand tall so you can exude confidence. Studies show people gravitate toward confident individuals.
- Shhhh, Don’t Tell: Stop advertising how shy you are. Your friends already know, and others would’ve never known if you didn’t tell everyone. It’s not always as visible as you think.
- No Labels: Words are powerful, so don’t label yourself something you don’t want to be. If you must use a title, consider yourself a unique individual.
- Discuss It Lightly: If someone else brings up your shyness, keep your tone casual and shrug it off. There’s no need to make a big deal of it.
- Focus on Your Strengths: Instead of looking at the negative (shyness), focus on the better parts of your personality (friendly, resourceful, caring, funny).
- Choose Your Inner Circle Wisely: Shy people tend to have fewer people in their inner circle, so be sure they are supportive, encouraging, and warm.
- Avoid the Bully: There will always be someone who takes advantage of your shyness and makes you the butt of the joke. That’s the one you want to avoid.
- Stop Assuming: Shy people sometimes believe everyone is looking at them or rejecting them somehow. Most times, this is simply a case of a runaway imagination. Even if someone judges you, what they think is not your concern. Ignore them and move on.
- Step Outside Your Comfort Zone: You continue to be shy because you stay within your inner circle. Try stepping out of the box and meeting someone new for a change.
Consider Bringing Someone to Church
Just hear me out with this one; You may be looking for someone to date in church, but why not bring someone to church with you?
Maybe you are interested in someone who isn’t heavily involved in church because perhaps they never found a good fit and are looking for the right church to attend regularly.
The next time you go to service, ask if they’d like to attend. After attending the first service, they may be interested in going again, eventually joining and volunteering. The point is to keep an open mind when finding a mate. Just because someone doesn’t regularly attend church, it doesn’t mean they don’t want to.
Even if your guest isn’t the perfect match for you, they may be a good fit for someone else. At the very least, you converted someone to your faith, so it’s a win-win for everyone.
The goal of attending church is to have a place to worship with those who have a similar faith. So, I get it when someone wishes to find their soulmate in such an environment.
However, the church is not a dating service. You shouldn’t make anyone uncomfortable coming to The House of the Lord to worship. But, again, you have Christian dating apps for that.
As long as you do so respectfully, there is no problem with searching for your perfect someone.