When it comes to dating, things can get a bit…well, touchy (sorry, it was right there, we HAD to). When you’re in the dating world and first getting your romance on with that cutie you met on a dating app, it means talking, prolonged eye contact, and, yes—touching. Hold your horses, we aren’t talking about that kind of touch; that’s between you and your potential partner and is frankly none of our business!
We’re talking about those beginning, intimate but not that intimate kind of touching. A gentle graze of the hand, a reassuring pat, or a warm bear hug. Touch is important in romance, and we’re going to explore why and what its role is when it comes to dating!
We’ve all been on a date with someone we really like, yes? Yes. So, you’re on the said date, and you’re getting on like a house on fire, laughing, talking, and then, suddenly, there’s that brief touch. Maybe they put their hand on yours. Or maybe they touched your shoulder while they excused themselves to the restroom.
It’s not a kiss, but it’s kind of a preview of what’s to come if you’re reading things right—a promise of sorts. The place where they placed their hand may tingle, and your stomach flip flops. That’s the intoxication of touch when you’re into someone, and the attraction is palpable. It signals romantic interest and a connection that is crossing the line (in a good way) from friendship to more than friends. They didn’t high-five or fist-bump you, so things are looking pretty good!
While we’re on the sort of touch your date delivered, it’s a good time to explore the myriad of touches and investigate what they mean so you can decipher the intention behind them.
Have you ever thought about the different ways we touch when dating? There’s a kind, supportive pat on the back, and then there’s the heart-fluttering handhold. Different touches all have different meanings!
What are they? Here you go:
Friendly: High-fives, fist bumps, or gentle pats can say, “Hey, I’m happy to be here with you!” This may or may not indicate you’ve been friend-zoned.
Flirty: Subtle touches on the arm or a brush of hands.
Comforting: A soft touch on the back or a warm, reassuring squeeze of the hand says, “Hey, I’m here for you.”
Romantic: There is no mistaking these for something else—a hand placed over yours, them tucking your hair behind your ear (and any face touches)—you know what we’re talking about.
Different touches say different things, but remember, the key is in understanding and respecting what feels right for both of you—is it a wanted or unwanted touch? The latter is no bueno.
Timing Is Everything: When to Introduce Touch
Now, onto the “when” of touching. The first date? The third? Timing can be a bit tricky, right? Touching too soon might rush things while waiting too long might cause you to miss the window. It’s all about feeling the vibe and respecting comfort zones.
Look for the cues—a long look, a warm smile, or open body language. These could be your green lights to introduce a bit of touchy-feely into the equation, giving you the go-ahead to move forward.
Navigating the waters of touch in dating can be as thrilling as it is complicated—respect and consent are the anchors here, ensuring the touch is wanted, mutual, and comfortable. Always be super-mindful and observant—if your date withdraws or seems uneasy with a touch, it’s a flashing neon sign to pull back, abort the mission, and stick to smiles and words for a while.
Well, aren’t you glad we touched (sorry, we did it again) on this topic together? Touch can be an amazing, thrilling, and sometimes a little nerve-wracking part of dating. It’s a road from the first shy touch to the comforting, familiar cuddles on the couch as the connection grows. But through all this, understanding, respect, and clear communication should be your guiding lights, making sure that each touch adds to and strengthens the bond, always wrapped in the fuzzy, warm blanket of mutual ease and consent.
As for the other kind of touching, that’s a lot of fun too, but that’s not in our wheelhouse, and, as we said up top, it’s none of our business! We’re just here for the beginning stages—the rest is up to you.