It’s hard out there for almost everyone when it comes to dating—but those difficulties multiply when you’re a single parent looking for love.
Attempting to navigate the singles scene when you already have an overflowing plate, like your job and parenting your kids on your own, all while you are searching for a significant other, can get overwhelming. And then you have to deal with the somewhat sour cherry on top of your already busy life’s sundae—stigmas and stereotypes that come along with being a single parent. It’s a lot!
But don’t throw your hands up in despair—we have some great tips and a plan for you to negotiate and overcome those stinky stigmas.
The Stereotypes: Unwanted and Unfair Labels
Stereotypes are like those gummy stickers on fruit—totally unnecessary, hard to peel off, and say nothing about what’s inside! There is no nutrition info, and you can barely read what it does say. Recognizing and understanding these aggravating and mostly false preconceptions can equip you to combat them successfully.
The Sacrifice Martyr
Single parents can sometimes be labeled as those who have put aside their own needs and wants so that their children can have it all. Sounds noble and selfless, right? But it’s impractical and unrealistic!
The problem here is that it paints you into a corner as a one-dimensional character whose only role on this earth is to parent, implying that you don’t have any time or need for love or companionship.
Counteraction: Reclaim Your Individuality
Single parents should start out by reclaiming their identities beyond just being a parent. Show potential dates that you are more than just a caregiver to your kids—you are your own person with your own interests, hobbies, passions, and, yes, romantic interests.
‘Damaged Goods’
Single parents sometimes face the stigma of being considered “damaged goods,” which is a gross concept that needs to be put six feet under. The ridiculous idea that you are emotionally unavailable because you have a past with an ex and are forever tied to your past relationship is not just patently untrue but also limiting and insulting.
Counteraction: Define Your Own Story
Don’t let your relationship history—whatever that may be—define your future. Everyone has a past, some more messy than others, with exes; it’s no different if you don’t have kids! Make it crystal clear that you’re a whole person, not just someone else’s ex, and you are completely able and want to be in a loving, committed relationship when you think you’ve met the right person.
The Time-Crunched Chaos Agent
Being busy can be worn as a sort of badge of honor in society, but for single parents, it’s misread as them being unable to manage their own life, let alone the addition of a romantic relationship.
Counteraction: Show Off Your Time Management Skills
No one does time management like a single parent—trust this. In fact, they often excel at this skill, and we could probably all learn a thing or two from them on this subject. Point this out by highlighting how you manage to balance your time between work, parental duties, and dating. You can even make it a fun “about me” on your dating app profile; something like, “I could teach a college-level course on how to balance life with my exceptional time management skills—swipe right for the syllabus!”
Overcoming the Stigma: Your Toolkit
Knowing the enemy is only half of the battle, but half is better than none! Now, let’s move on to the practical and helpful tools that will guide you as you reenter the world of dating so you can dodge those stigmas and judgments like Neo’s body-swerving bullets in The Matrix.
Challenge That Narrative
First things first, throw that imaginary rulebook that claims to define who a single parent can or cannot be in the garbage where it belongs.
Tool: Open dialogue. Have real and honest conversations with your dates so they can glean a clearer understanding of your well-rounded life.
Schedule Some Magic
Good organization is key to balancing both your parenting and dating life—and remember, you have this organization thing on lock and can do it in your sleep (sometimes you are half asleep).
Tool: Use your calendar apps to keep your schedule in check, making sure to earmark quality time for any potential dates that could lead to a relationship.
The ‘It Takes a Village’ Mantra
Never underestimate the power of a solid support network. These are the people who would love to step up to babysit because they want you to get your dating groove back; they can also lend you an ear and give you emotional support when you need it!
Tool: Rely on your friends, family, or even community support groups to provide that helping hand, which will enable you to meet new people and be there to help out when you need it most.
Real-Life Strategies to Defy Stereotypes
Knowing how to counteract stereotypes and what tools to use puts you well ahead of the game, so the obvious next step is carrying through and putting it to work for you.
Transparency is Key
Being transparent about your life acts as a natural filter, separating the wheat from the chaff right from the get-go—if they pass judgment or seem put off by you being a single parent, don’t waste your time on them. You deserve better, and they don’t deserve you. Thank you, next!
Never Apologize for Being a Parent
You’re a parent, and that’s a part of you; no apologies or excuses are needed, and if someone sees that as a deal-breaker? They’re not a good match, and you dodged a bullet (look at you being Neo again)!
Date Outside the Box
There are so many undiscovered roads to explore in the dating world. Take advantage of specialized dating apps that target single parents, single social events, and real-life matchmakers who focus on your particular demographic and can provide targeted opportunities for potential romantic connections.
Takeaways: Shatter That Stigma
In the pursuit of love, single parents shouldn’t have to fight societal stigmas and stereotypes on top of all the regular day-to-day dating challenges!
With this knowledge, practical tools, and actionable strategies, you can confidently stroll right into the dating arena with your head held high and find your soulmate. After all, you are responsible for writing your own story—especially when it comes to your love life..
