Hi everyone! We’re back and continuing to ask ChatGPT for advice for our new ongoing series of blogs featuring relationships and dating inquiries as received from artificial intelligence.
So keep asking, and we’ll use our interactive and unique way to answer all your questions about dating and relationships. ChatGPT will give their take on how to handle the situation, and we’ll give you ours. Don’t worry. This won’t be boring, generic information. We’ll give you our honest feedback to help strengthen your relationships with your partner, family, friends, coworkers, and everyone else in your life.
Do you have a specific question that needs answering? If so, we’d love to hear from you. Contact us, and we’ll be sure to get back to you. Congratulations! You’ve just entered the next phase of how to have a happy and healthy relationship.
Can You Give Me Tips on How to Hide My Flatulence during a Romantic Moment? (*Some Adult Content Discussed)
Our first thought was, “Do we really want to tackle this subject?” But then, after some consideration, it was more like, “How can we not tackle this subject?”
We can give you the ol’ gas-is-a-natural-bodily-function-and-can-happen-anytime-and-any place- spiel, but seriously, it does happen to everyone. However, you’re probably not trying to hear that right now if you just want to find a way to stop passing gas in your partner’s space. So while ChatGPT is primarily political with their responses, we’ll be slightly more realistic, down to Earth, and maybe even a little more comical.
Let’s get real; it doesn’t matter if you’re one, twenty-one, or one hundred and one, farting is embarrassing, so much so, even in this day and age, it’s still the butt of jokes in movies. (Pun was absolutely intended!). So let’s dig dive right in.
Like you, we saw the “natural bodily function” statement coming from a mile away. If you paid attention in fifth-grade science class, you would know that it’s true, but that fact still doesn’t help you stop farting in your partner’s face during romantic and intimate moments. People have broken up over shit (sorry) like this, so the only thing natural about this is that you naturally want to find ways to stop doing it.
If “yourself” means a gas-passer, then no, three-quarters of the planet is never going to be comfortable enough to be themselves. Is it right? Not really, but it is what it is.
Not to mention ChatGPT implies that you should be totally comfortable with yourself and your partner before getting intimate. Sure, in a perfect world, but we live on planet Earth. No one is ever completely comfortable around someone when it comes to personal moments. That’s what breath mints and turning out the lights are for?
This is a good start, but you want to avoid these foods days, not hours, before your date. Otherwise, there’s no point. Go online and look for a list of foods, and don’t consume them for at least a week in advance, if possible.
You don’t want to avoid last minutes dates because someone asked you out for this Friday, and you just ate a whole can of beans, and it’s Tuesday. So, you’ll want to start incorporating non-gassy foods into your diet as soon as possible. You don’t have to cut all your favorite foods out, just cut back.
This is another one of those “in a perfect world” responses. While we agree it would help to empty everything out beforehand, sometimes it doesn’t work that way. But here’s how you can help it along:
• Don’t eat a couple of hours before your date
• If you have to drink anything, consume only small amounts of water hours before your date
• Take an anti-diarrhea medication if you feel an upset stomach before your date
Just wow! AI is just going right in on this one, huh? That said, we agree. Other positions you may want to avoid are:
- Doggie style
- Reverse cowgirl
- Lap dance
- Against the wall
- Bend over
- Any position with your partner behind you
You’ll likely need to change your diet to eliminate your constant flatulence. Once you change that, you can eradicate embarrassing situations. Some of the best OTC gas medicines include:
- Gas X Extra Strength
- CharoCaps Activated Charcoal
- Alka-Seltzer Heartburn
- Pepto Bismal
- Imodium Multi-Symptom
Worse things have happened, so however embarrassing it seems, it really isn’t the end of the world. It takes an incredibly secure person to genuinely laugh something like this off, but if you can do it and move on without so much as a shrug, then kudos to you.
The important takeaway from the situation is, who freakin’ cares? It happens, and if your partner has a problem with it, then they’re an idiot because why would they want to be in a relationship with someone who has to suppress something that their body naturally does?
Either they find out now you< gasp> fart, or they find out on your thirtieth wedding anniversary. If it happens again, look them in the face, shrug, and say, “Shit happens!”